The Beginning of Forever.

Leaving a spouse can feel daunting. This is a person that you tied your whole life to. You swore before heaven, family, friends, former lovers, and whoeverthehell else you could think of that you would be together forever. And, now forever has turned into "the first marriage." C'mon. That's not how you planned it. You never wanted to tell somebody about your first husband or wife. You never wanted to say "well, I was married once before" to a date. You never intended to utter the words "We split up, actually" to someone asking after your spouse.

That's not what you wanted. You went into it with your heart open. So, why didn't it work? You know you wanted it to. You know you'd be the happiest person you could be if you could just be with the spouse you imagined. But, maybe that spouse doesn't exist. In this life of supercharged computers and fast everything, maybe we just run through people quicker. Maybe we have higher expectations of happiness. Maybe we have unrealistic expectations of happiness. Is that all that our technological advances have given us? An ability to run through people the same way we run through computers (the old one is obsolete the minute before your purchase)?

And, when you divorce someone you promised to be with forever, isn't that really the true beginning of forever? Because if you're single, you might not always be single - but if you're divorced, well, even if you remarry, you will always be divorced.

I'm getting divorced. So these are things I wonder.